Weekend Update

This weekend kicked ass because there were TWO Sabres games.  It sucked donkey because neither were televised. 

Thanks to RJ, I came away from the games with the following feelings about Sabres hockey.

I ♥ Craig Rivet. Seriously dude, I think Miller may have soiled his tighty whities after you stepped into Hollweg.

I ♥ Goose. I love that you stood up for poor, little Paille. It was worth getting your thumb jammed and I wish you a speedy recovery. My services are available for any, err, recuperation needs you may have…

Poor Paille! Lindy says you have a “bruised thigh” which probably means you’ve had 2 toes amputated. I wish you a speedy recovery as well. My services are available for any bed time stories and chicken soup you may need. I’m sure Adam will need help keeping an eye on you.

FU MSG

Poor Timmy has a sore back….and the season hasn’t started yet. Seriously dude, can we get at least ½ season out of you?Just 42 games, that’s ALL I ask.

Yea Yo-Yo! Great goal.

Yea Staff-dog! Great job on the lone shoot-out goal!

Dear Buffalo News-

“The Sabres’ big-name scratches Sunday were Derek Roy, Thomas Vanek, Ales Kotalik, Tim Connolly, Patrick Kaleta, Andrew Peters, Nathan Paetsch, Toni Lydman and Teppo Numminen.” This WONDERFUL quota came from esteemed publication.

“Does anyone else see a glaring mistake in this sentence?

Anyone, anyone, Bueller?

Alright, I’ll help you out just this once. Andrew Peters is listed after the words big-name scratches. Um, last I knew Andy isn’t one of our superstars and his name isn’t that long, SO I’m not sure what you mean by “big-name”. If Andy is going to regularly crack the top 3 lines this season, I may have to kiss my Sabres prediction good-bye. You wouldn’t want me to do that would you?

In other news – Tina Fey as Sarah Palin = H.Y.S.T.E.R.I.C.A.L Television (It could have been wine induced, but I don’t think so…)

1 Question

What would have made last nights Sabres game better?

I know it’s a tough question, so I’ll give you a couple seconds to try and figure out the answer.

1 Mississippi
2 Mississippi
3 Mississippi
4 Mississippi

Ok, if you can’t answer it by now, you aren’t going to get it…evah.

Answer: If MSG would have televised the game.

Ok, so I know what you’re thinking. It’s pre-season games and preseason games are not shown on TV. Au contraire mon frere. MSG is televising EVERY Rangers game this pre-season. Since MSG is supposed to be the channel of the Sabres, why are we getting the same treatment?

Friday night feature

On of my nephews was in town last weekend, so I was doing this-

The big one was created by my 5 yr old nephew. Mine's the small one.

instead of this-

It's not really crooked, those are my mad photo skills

Not too bad for two weeks of packing and company. I just might get this done by the time the Sabres win the cup in June.

Here’s where I was on 9/12 for reference.

Not bad, eh?

Oh and GO SABRES!!!

Power Ranking – West Coast Edition

I can’t count on my fingers how many pre-season previews I’ve read. SO, I’ve decided to create my own ranking.

My rules for how I’ve ranked the teams.

1. I’m not going to account for how close they are to the salary cap.
2. I’m not going to account for the hockey skills on the team.
3. I’ll use any other criteria I damn well please.

15. Detroit Red Wings – I hate the city and I hate everything about the team. Period.

14. Phoenix Coyotes – Shouldn’t have a team. ‘Nuff said.

13. LA Kings – I just hate this team and I don’t know why…

12. Anaheim Ducks – You’ll always be the “Mighty” to me. You won’t gain any brownie points from me until I see the flying V.

11. Dallas Stars – I had on really bad trip to Dallas and have now sworn off the city. There’s nice people there, but I’ll just keep a little further North…like next to Canada north..

10. San Jose Sharks – They’re caveman hot.

9. Columbus Blue Jackets – Seriously Ohio, you need to realize there is more then Buckeye football. Plus Rick Nash is HOTT.

Hubba Hubba

8. Chicago Blackhawks – I know they’re original 6, but come on. How many times can you shit on your fans and expect them to come back.

7. Edmonton Oilers – I feel like they are the Buffalo of Canada. I’ve never been there, so if you have don’t spoil it for me. Thanks!

6. St. Louis Blues – I like St. Louis. Not a move to St. Louis kind of like, but it’s definitely not bad if work sends you there for a couple of days.

5. Calgary Flames – I like they flame thrower. I’ve never been there, but for some reason I think I would like it.

4. Nashville Predators – I LOVE Nashville. So far, it’s the only city in the South I’ve been too that I would move to in a heart beat.

3. Minnesota Wild – I appreciate you MN much more now that I don’t live there. You truly do have great fans that appreciate your love for hockey even if you aren’t cheering for the home team. I’d say they’re hot, but they got ride of Marc Chouinard and Pascal Dupuis. Fun Dupuis story. Diebiege and I went to a wild game and then stopped into a sushi shop for dinner. I’d heard Wild players would eat there and diebiege was facing the door. So she was to “tip me off” if a hockey player came through the door. SO, this dude walks in wearing a good suit and she says to me in French, I think there’s one. I turn around spot Dupuis looking over, turn around and say “You would be correct and that one can understand you.” But I digress.

P.E.R.F.E.C.T.I.O.N

Is it my eyebrows or my accent?

2. Vancouver Canucks – I’m trying to get a job from the guy that used to own the Canucks. If putting them two on my list will get me a job, I’m very happy to take one for the team.

1. Colorado Avalanche – OK, I know you’re going to think this is rigged, but seriously…I LOVE Denver. If I got offered a job in Denver I don’t think I would hesitate for a moment. I would jump at it. If Denver were crack, I’d be dead.

Power Rankings – East Coast Edition

I can’t count on my fingers how many pre-season previews I’ve read. SO, I’ve decided to create my own ranking.

My rules for how I’ve ranked the teams.

1. I’m not going to account for how close they are to the salary cap.
2. I’m not going to account for who’s on their team.
3. I’ll use any other criteria I damn well please.

15.  Florida Panthers – Seriously? Florida does not deserve a team. In fact, any place where it doesn’t snow at least once a year doesn’t deserve a team.

14.  Toronto Maple Leafs – Your fans suck. You should appreciate all people that like hockey. period. You want to know how it’s done, see Minnesota.

13.  Tampa Bay Lightening – No offense to anyone who lives in Florida, but I don’t think those are hockey markets.

12.  NY Rangers – Just cause I’ve always hated the Rangers. This is where good players go to kill their career.

11.  Carolina Hurricanes – Seriously, Raleigh can’t sell out PLAYOFF games.

10.  Washington Capitals – I can’t tell you how many games I’ve gone to where the arena is empty. (read: every game I’ve ever gone too)

9.  Atlanta Thrashers – It didn’t work the first time, did you think it would the second?

8.  Philadelphia Flyers – I love Philadelphia, thought about moving to Philadelphia and probably would have if I had a job offer. Did I mention they have IKEA?

7.  Ottawa Senators – I love Ottawa, thought about moving to Ottawa and probably would have if I had a job offer. Did I mention they have IKEA and speak French?

6.  NY Islanders – HELLO! Ina Garten is from Long Island.

5.  Pittsburgh Pengiuns – Great city and I like that they call their arena an igloo. It’s so winterish and winterish is hockeyish.

4.  Boston Bruins – Another great city, with SO much history. I’d move here too.

3.  NJ Devils – Marty, Thanks for giving two goals up to Alex Tanguay during game 7 of the 2001 Stanley Cups. That is one of my happiest hockey memories EVER.

2.  Buffalo Sabres – My “hometown” team. (or at least the closest too my hometown) One of the few places I would move to AND get season tickets to the games.

1. Montreal Canadiens – Great City+French Language+family+meat pie+poutine+living somewhere people will actually visit = P.E.R.F.E.C.T.I.O.N

Isn’t it ironic?

i·ron·ic (Adjective) [ī rónnik]
apparently contradictory – involving a surprising or apparently contradictory fact.

This morning I attempted to log into my yahoo fantasy football league.  I got a big white surprise.  Apparently, this page has been “banned” my employer.  The rat bastards made this change sometime between Friday and today because I checked my player status’ on Friday.  Being totally bummed, I clicked on one of my fantasy hockey teams.  This time, I was taken directly to the league home page.  Wahhhhhhhhhhh?

So, let me get this right, you state you block websites that are harmful to our corporate security. Somehow, fantasy football is harmful to our security but fantasy hockey is not? Could our blocked pages really have nothing to do with data security and everything to do with our employer not wanting us to check personal e-mail, fantasy teams, watch video’s or listen to music during work hours? I.think.so.

What’s next? Blogs, CNN, FOX, Google, Monster, Hot Jobs

Dare I remind corporate that this is not Germany circa 1939 we are allotted 1 – one hour lunch break and 2 – fifteen minute breaks by law per day? Or maybe they need to be reminded that they should be giving us enough work that we don’t have extra HOURS per day with nothing to do but surf the web. (Not that I don’t enjoy getting paid to surf the web, but is that really why I’m here?  Plus it gets boring when you hit the end of the interwebs at noon and you still have 4 more hours to occupy.) Maybe if you got rid of the dead weight you ignore, you wouldn’t need to block our websites, because we’d only have our break times to search these sites.

I can only hope there aren’t a lot of us with fantasy hockey teams because they’ll block those as well.

Now, I’m off to search Monster and Hot Jobs while I’m still able.  Later, hockey…SABRES hockey!!!