It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Tomorrow is a holiday for those of us in the Ol’ US of A.  It also launches the official, “holy shit!  I only have 4 weeks until Christmas meltdown” for me.  In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would love to wish all my American readers a wonderful Turkey or Tofurky day.  To all the Canucks, I’m happy belated Thanksgiving. 

I set out this morning to rack my brain for things I’m grateful for and found the list came much easier then expected. 

I’m thankful for-

My Family.  They are what they are and I love them for it.  Without my parents, I’d be paying rent out my nose instead of living rent free while I try and buy a house.  They get on my nerves sometimes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  They’ve made me realize that the time we have with our loved ones is precious.  You never know if this will be your last holiday with your family, so always treat it like it is.  It’s no life to spend the rest of your life regretting things you did or didn’t say before someone passed.  Let those around you know what they mean to you.  I enjoy my nephews more than I can put into words. 

My friends.  I’ve been a craptacular friend over the last few weeks and yet you still seem to call and e-mail.  I promise I’ll remove my head from my ass.  You’re all appreciated more than you know, and you put up with my stories of “the boys” even if you don’t really care.

Hockey.  It’s SO much fun to watch live and barring a few cities has the nicest fans.

Pommerdoode.  Interviews with Pommerdoodle are always refreshing.  It’s obvious he’s drunk on Sabres blue Kool-Aid and I’m OK with it.  He truly believes the system will fix everything when we fans feel it won’t.  Your attitude, Pommerdoodle, keeps me enjoying Sabres hockey.

Goose.  Our environment remains beautiful because of the efforts from the non-crazy tree huggers like you.  I’ve lowered my thermostat, recycled and re-purposed products just because you asked me too.  Who really cares that I’m freezing my ass off and the blankets made out of old clothes are cutting it.  We still have trees and lakes.

Crunchy.  Not so much for your on-ice play as of late, but for just being you.  In many ways I think Goose has rubbed off on you.  I know you price your jeans outrageously expensive, not because they are but because you want people to think twice before they throw them away.

“Well, they did cost $300.  I guess I can wear them a few more times, then cut them up and sew them back together in the form of a baby blanket.”

Your love of twigs and berries is going to slowly put the farmers out of business.  There will be no need to cut down trees or put pesticides on the land or in the water.  Wegmans will be a large forest surrounded by an organic fence made from recycled old Wegmans stores.  We’ll pick our own berries and twigs and pay by the pound on the way out.

D-Roy.  You are the antithesis of Goose and Crunchy, and yet they still seem to love you.  So, I feel compelled to follow suit.  Score a couple more goals and I won’t have to rely on the opinions of Goose and Crunchy.

Jaro.  There is nothing that makes me smile more than an interview with Jaro.  It makes a bad game good.  It’ll take my 5 minutes to try and translate what he said and then I realize it was “Fuck the system, we sucked tonight.”  It’s funny and refreshing all at the same time.

Andro Peters, Timmy Ho and Max.  Without you, I would have very little “low hanging fruit” to rail on.  When I’m pissed at the whole team, you’re my first target regardless of if you played in the game.

Thomas Vanek.  I’m sorry I called you a slag-faced whore.  You were one, but seem to have reformed.  Be careful, it’s a slippery slope right back to slag-faced whore, but this week I’m convinced you will overcome.

C Riv.  I’m glad you appear to have warmed to Buffalo, because Buffalo fans sure have warmed to you.  If you hate it here, please be honest, we can take honesty.  We can’t handle another Drury or Briere.  Just don’t lie to us.

Pattie LaLime.  After watching your interviews, who isn’t enamored with you?  Plus, I think you’ll allow Crunchy a few nights off.  It’s hard for him to forage for all is food, so a little extra time is always appreciated.  Hey, maybe you could help him?  Being a FC lumberjack like you are, I’m sure you have a few pointers on new leaves and moss he could add to his diet.

My blog.  I totally fucked up my 100th post and no one seemed to mind.

I hope everyone has a fun, safe and stuffed holiday.  Only 4 more weeks until the next holiday.

Has this ever happened to you?

I came into my blog today to write a new post, only to find, I’m a complete dumbass.  See, I wrote a post  and in the heat of “shit, I need to get this published ’cause I’ve got things to do” accidentally saved it instead of posting it.  To those of you who were worried I may have keeled over, fret not, it was only my brain that keeled over.  The rest of me is sitting here at work searching for the hardest surface in which to bang my head.

Onto today’s random thoughts -

It’s an “I love Crunchy” day.  First, I saw this picture.  Like most women in child baring age, there is something about a guy that looks comfortable with kids and vice versa.  It’s some sub-conscious way of sending our ovaries into overdrive.  It sent me straight from Crunchy’s gay to Crunchy could father my children in about 2.6 seconds. 

Should I really even bother to keep up the Timmy Tracker?  I have some serious hopes doubts that he never plays another game in a Sabres jersey.  If you can’t bare to part with him, then make his sell beer in the arena.  The women will LOVE it.

Now onto Sunday’s post which is a little redundant now, but what the hell.  Heather also talked about a lot of this stuff, and I tend to agree with her, so you can read it here.

I realized a few things this weekend -

First, bringing up Mark Mancari might not have been a bad idea.  Is there anyone else in Maine who might be ready for the jump? (Please, oh, please!)

Second, remember when I said we needed to dump some of our dead weight?  Well the offer doesn’t still stand, but I still think we need to get rid of a few of our “low hanging fruit.” 

I know you’re dying to know my opinion, so here it is -

You can shift Timmy to arena payroll by dropping 4 zeros off his game day salary, free beer and free women.  Come on, you know it’ll work.   (And I’m not saying this because he’s from Baldwinsville and I hate him.)

You can shift Andro Peters to arena payroll by dropping 3 zeros off his game day salary, free beer and free women.  (Oh, that’s right…you’re happily married now.)  Come on, you know it’ll work.

You need to suck it up when it comes to Max.  You aren’t always going to get what you want.  Shit happens sometimes, so take a low draft pick or put him on waivers.  Wake the rest of the team up with a “this could be you” moment. 

I don’t think you should trade DRoy.  I do think he needs a hard core benching.  He will probably enjoy riding the pine…ahem, moving on….

I think Pommer should be made the temporary Captain until C Riv gets his mojo back.  I think he’s shown himself as obedient to the system and is being rewarded accordingly. 

I think Crunchy needs to be sent to a therapist.  He sucked last year after his cousin passed which is completely understandable.  I’m not sure what happened this year.  Did he find a stray pair of last year’s jeans in his closet?  A shirt?  Get dumped?  Either way, a good shrink and some good organic trail mix should have Crunchy back to new.

Please don’t touch Mancari and Goose. 

The rest are open for debate.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight

Good gravy.  WTF was that?  I turned on the TV expecting to see Portland, cause you know I fired all the Sabres.  Ummm, no Pirates and same Sabres.  Did I mention I’d fired the Sabres?  Apparently, they missed that memo. 

At this point, I would usually turn on an Avs game to cheer me up, but they are sucking as well.  Ya know how depressing it is when all of your favorite teams are suckin’ donkey ass?  Oh, that’s right…the Bills are sucking now too….guess you do know….sorry.

Anywho, it’s not that I really hate the Sabres (or the Avs) they just make me want to slash my wrists. 

I’m going to watch “Happy Feet” now and attempt to feel better about life.  (Although a win tomorrow night would do it Sabres.  Hint, hint)

Time to reflect

So, I’ve taken the last few days to reflect on the games this weekend, and my feelings on said games. 

After much thought, nothing has changed.  I think I’m going to see the “NEW” Sabres tomorrow night in order to see that glass half full. 

So, Sabres, please, please, PULEASE, show up tomorrow.  I can’t beg enough.

WOW

Sabres,

Seriously?  You called that a game?  Did you learn anything from last night?  That was beyond craptacular. 

Don’t worry though, I’m here to notify you that during these hard times management has had to make some decisions to help ensure the health of the Buffalo Sabres organization.  These decisions have led to the elimination of your position within the organization.  We sincerely hope you understand we are making these moves to ensure the viability of Buffalo Sabres Hockey for years to come. 

Geography

Class,

Today, we’re going to have a brief lesson in…Geography.  Specifically, the geography of NY STATE and NJ.

This is New York, New Jersey and Pennsyltucky.  (Please ignore the graphics for a moment and Pennsyltucky forever.)

Exhibit A

 

I live around the Purple dot.

The Buffalo Sabres live/play around the yellow dot.

The New Jersey Devils live/play around the red dot.

The the New York Rangers live/play/defile around the shit colored brown dot.

Last Monday, I tuned into the AM stations on the radio hoping to get just a wee bit of the Sabres/Devils game.  A wee bit is exactly what I got.  About 2 whole minutes.

So, last night I thought I would try again.  I got about 15 minutes of the game.  And by the game, I mean the Rangers/Devils game.  See apparently living 1 inch (Black Line) from Buffalo is TOO CLOSE for AM coverage.  You must live a minimum of 1.75 inches (white lines) from Buffalo in order for AM coverage to pick up.  Qu’est que fuck, AM Radio?

In other news-

I’m glad to see Timmy made it to play another game.  In sad news, I’ve heard Timmy took a check last night.  I’m sure he’s dislocated his tonsils and will be out for the next 69 games.

To whomever found me by googling “Sophia cheesecake” – If you had to google that you didn’t watch the show enough.  There’s this channel called Lifetime.  It works wonders on curing that problem.

Just do it.  Our boys…ahemnotyouDerek, deserve it.