Weekend Update

This weekend kicked ass because there were TWO Sabres games.  It sucked donkey because neither were televised. 

Thanks to RJ, I came away from the games with the following feelings about Sabres hockey.

I ♥ Craig Rivet. Seriously dude, I think Miller may have soiled his tighty whities after you stepped into Hollweg.

I ♥ Goose. I love that you stood up for poor, little Paille. It was worth getting your thumb jammed and I wish you a speedy recovery. My services are available for any, err, recuperation needs you may have…

Poor Paille! Lindy says you have a “bruised thigh” which probably means you’ve had 2 toes amputated. I wish you a speedy recovery as well. My services are available for any bed time stories and chicken soup you may need. I’m sure Adam will need help keeping an eye on you.

FU MSG

Poor Timmy has a sore back….and the season hasn’t started yet. Seriously dude, can we get at least ½ season out of you?Just 42 games, that’s ALL I ask.

Yea Yo-Yo! Great goal.

Yea Staff-dog! Great job on the lone shoot-out goal!

Dear Buffalo News-

“The Sabres’ big-name scratches Sunday were Derek Roy, Thomas Vanek, Ales Kotalik, Tim Connolly, Patrick Kaleta, Andrew Peters, Nathan Paetsch, Toni Lydman and Teppo Numminen.” This WONDERFUL quota came from esteemed publication.

“Does anyone else see a glaring mistake in this sentence?

Anyone, anyone, Bueller?

Alright, I’ll help you out just this once. Andrew Peters is listed after the words big-name scratches. Um, last I knew Andy isn’t one of our superstars and his name isn’t that long, SO I’m not sure what you mean by “big-name”. If Andy is going to regularly crack the top 3 lines this season, I may have to kiss my Sabres prediction good-bye. You wouldn’t want me to do that would you?

In other news – Tina Fey as Sarah Palin = H.Y.S.T.E.R.I.C.A.L Television (It could have been wine induced, but I don’t think so…)

Why have you foresaken me?

Dear Sabres,

Today I received the following notice:

There are two problems here, aside from the obvious.

1. I saw this yesterday, when everyone else got the e-mail.

2. I just got the email today.

Why don’t you like me?

Sniff, Sniff,
Chaz

Dear Sabres Management,

See this?

Think about it…short contract, further solidify D, NY native, someone to protect Pommer. Get him before someone else does.

Tanks,
Chaz

Where’s the D?

I’m going to be honest.  I would love nothing more than to see Max AND Timmy off the Sabres.  Now, I know Max isn’t a surprise to anyone, but a lot of people I talk to LUV (not in the biblical sense) Timmy.  How does he know which net to shoot at if he can’t remember his name?   Oh, that’s right, I forgot it’s because he only plays 10 games a year.  I see this happening before every game.

 

Lindy: (Calmly grabbing Timmy by the shoulders) I need to show you something.

 

Timmy: I’m scared

 

Lindy: Don’t you trust me.

 

Timmy: Uhhhh…yeah, I guess.

 

Lindy: (Walks Timmy over to Crunchy’s Stall) This is Millsey.  He’s your teammate.  If you see Millsey in the net; you remember what a net is, right?

 

Timmy: Yes, coach it’s the big metal thing at the end of the ice that I shoot at.

 

Lindy: Very good, Timmy.  If you see Ryan in the net, don’t shoot, DON’T SHOOT!

 

Timmy:  Coach, are you mad at me?

 

Lindy: (frustrated) No, Timmy, just don’t shoot on Crunchy. 

 

I firmly believe this happens before every period Timmy plays.

 

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.  Apparently according to The Fourth Period Buffalo’s looking at Jason Smith and Branislav Mezei. 

 

My thoughts on Jason Smith

v     Played for the Flyers.  (I will try to not let that influence me.)

v     Was Captain of both the Flyers and the Oilers.  (Hmmm, veteran leadership…)

v     Solid on D

v     His nickname is Gator.

v     I’ve heard of him

v     Made 1.9M last year

 

My thoughts on Branislav Mezei

v     Uh, who?

v     He’s 6 years younger than Smith.

v     Apparently has been in the NHL 8 years.

v     Has 5 goals and 19 assists in 8 years.  (Gator has 28 goals and 79 assists in the same time frame)

v     Made $850,000 last year.

 

So, I get Darcy likes to pick up no names for dirt cheap and turn them into something, but COME ON.  This Mezei dude should not be on Buffalo’s radar. 

 

Has Darcy talked with Tampa Bay yet?  ‘Cause I hear Dan Boyle is available, and have we got a deal for them!  How do two forwards and a nice plot of beach front property in the Everglades sound to you?