Day late, dollar short

I’m gonna keep the game recap brief because it happened, like 12 years ago or something.

So here are my high/low lights of Tuesday’s game.

• Did anyone else have a coronary when Cap’n CRiv blocked the shot and then made a bee-line for the bench?  I totally thought they were going to have to amputate a limb and then send him back out on the ice.
• I couldn’t believe Goose got an elbow to the face.  He’s like 100 feet tall, so that was impressive.  Thankfully, there was no damage.
• Ruutu bite Peters.  I’ll admit it, I was a little surprised.  I hate Peters, but he didn’t deserve that…ever.  I’m glad Ruutu got two, but I think his smug post game interviews professing his innocence should have gotten him 15 more games.
• Uh, Crunchy, Ottawa score twice in like .0000000000000000000019 seconds.  I get the first one, but you should have had the second.  I really thought that was going to be the end of the winning streak.
• Congrats to Razor and his wife. 
• I was very excited for the Cap’n CRiv interview.  I think he should do TV intermission interviews even when he’s not playing.

Onto other news,

Did anyone hear about this?  Seriously?  I don’t know what’s worse, that a four yr old would shoot someone for stepping on his toes (accidentally) or that he knew where the gun and bullets were and how to load the bullets.  This is very scary on many accounts.

I’ll believe Timmy is playing tomorrow when I see him take the ice.  I’m not convinced he won’t trip over his own feet on the way out for warm-ups and missing the rest of the season.  Sorry, folks.  If he makes it out of this weekend, I’ll be surprised.

Congrats to Vanek for being the only Sabre to get picked for the all-star game.  You’re the only one that deserved that honor.

What’s not scary is some nice dude upgraded our seats for the Isles/Sabres game to row A….ON THE GLASS.  So, when the Sabres score 1000 goals in the first and third, the two chicks wearing Sabres apparel will be Diebeige and I.  To celebrate, I had to get some new Sabres gear. 

If they are losing 1000-0, you'll see the hood instead of my face. Just sayin...

Now, I have to get back to work.  =(

Happy New Year

I hope everyone had a wonderful New Year’s celebration.  2008 could not have ended soon enough for me.  I hope we all have an excellent 2009.

My favorite line of the last game? 

“If you’re not going to complete, you’re not going to play.”

Really Lindy, I’ll believe it when I see it.  Now, I know by the time I get this done and posted tonight’s game will have started.  The truth is, I don’t expect to see any of the big names from Tuesday’s game wearing a suit come 7pm.  It just won’t happen.  You know it and I know it.  (I haven’t checked any news sources so if I’m missed some big news, go ahead and let me feel like an ass)

He said he was back and mad. WHY didn't we listen to him?

The Goose interview at the end of the game was CRAZY.  Let be honest, we’ve all seen mad Geese.  I thought for sure Goose was gonna raise his wings and chase the reporters out of the locker room.  Ya know, kind of like we saw on the ice.  He was flying all over the play.  During the interview, I wondered if his bill was taped together, because you could barelyhear him.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard Goose  mumbling.  Seriously, I thought he was going to start molting.

Did anyone else think Crunchy looked like shit?  I’m not referencing how unhappy he was, he looked tired and his beard was molting.  Waaaaaaaaaaiiiiiit, could Goose be behind Crunchy’s bald spots?

We finally hear Kaleta will be out for an additional 3 weeks.  To me that gives Lindy and Darcy three weeks to get Petey in Portland. 

To me, the bigger news is Doug Wilson getting popped for a DUI in the middle of nowhere Illinois.  I know, I know Charles Barkley got busted.  He told the cop he wanted to get sucked like a straw, blah, blah, blah.  I don’t care about basketball.  I care about hockey and home improvement.  Plus, he’s not bad looking.  He’s an ass, but kind of cute.

Admit it. He's hot AND we have NO idea what team he plays for....so sad for Dougie.

The hard questions

I think it’s about time someone around here starts asking the hard questions. 

Who’d be better, Max or Gerbe?  Timmy or Tim?

I get people think Gerbe and Tim Kennedy need more time in the minors where they would play consistent minutes.  I also get we can’t buy out contracts mid-season, but this broken record says dump Max.  This is like real estate, you drop the price enough and someone will take it.  I think the Sabres have proven what they can do with draft picks.  As for Timmy Ho, at this point, I think the Sabres are prepared to keep him on IR for the rest of the season.  My dad  broke a rib a few months back, so I get it hurts.  blah, blah, blah.   We all know it’ll be 2 maybe 3 games back and then another injury.  So, get a few draft picks for Max, keep Timmy on IR and pluck (no offense Goose) Gerbe and Kennedy out of Portland. 

What took so long to get injury updates?

Update: Goose and Gerbe are a go for tonight.  Peters and Max to warm the pine in the press box.

Today we found out Rivet is now day to day, Goose could play tonight, Gerbe is close and Timmy won’t play anytime in the near future.  No update on Kaleta.  I’m very excited to hear we should be seeing Gerbe soon.  With Timmy out for near future, he should see a spot in the line up. 

Private to Chris Butler,

Great Job!  I know you’ll be heading back to Portland soon, but want to make sure you know, from the fans in Buffalo, just how well you filled C Riv’s big shoes.  You should be proud and I’m sure there will be a spot for you in the line up in the future. 

See you soon,

Chaz 

I'm back and I'm fighting mad!

 Goose, I really hope you weren’t being literal just now.  Between your chin and your thumb, I’m afraid for you.

You really think Peters is a heavy weight in this league?

He’s a fuckin’ joke.  You know it and I know it.  All the heavy weights in this league know it.  He’s BY FAR the worst fighter in the league, and we’re proud  forced to say he’s on our team.  This best be the last year he gets some ridiculous contract. (read: a contract) Patty Kaleta can easily fill the shoes left behind by Peters.  Easily.

Is it really tennis elbow if it happens playing Wii Tennis instead of watching the Sabres game?

Err…I don’t know the answer to this question, but if anyone does my friend Shaz, yeah, that’s it Shaz, would really like to know.

Do we win tonight?

How the hell would I know!  You act like I have ESPN or something.  What I do know is Semin is out and Ovechkin is in.  The question should really be “Is Miller “out” or in?”  I think we’ll see Brashear pummel Peters with that, deservedly, shit eating grin on his face.  Ovie will score with 2 seconds left, the Sabres, as a collective team, will show-up for the game will follow the system to Lindy’s liking and ultimately win the game in a shoot out.  Mean while, Chaz, errrr, Shaz will continue to perfect her backhand. 

I believe the following two search terms accurately sum up my Tuesday morning feelings.  Don’t piss me off and where was I last Friday?

When I’m right, I’m right

As soon as my plane landed in Newark yesterday, I made my way around the terminals looking for a bar/restaurant with the Devils/Sabres game.  There must be some sort of contract between the Newark Airport and ESPN because there wasn’t one TV showing the game….not one.  This made my decision to drive home, much easier.  See, I had a 3 hour layover, the flight was delayed an hour and there was a 90 minute line between gate and actual departure.  So instead of getting home at 3 am, I chose to drive it.  Thankfully diebeige kept me company with updates on the game.

When I first started talking with diebeige, it was 1-1.  First goal by Staffy.  Hmmm…Staffy has been on a streak, but still, it’s Staffy.  Where’s Roy, Vanek etc? 

Second goal is by Kaleta.  Glad to see he’s back and remembers his name.  (ahem, Timmy?)  Rut row, I love seeing goals out of our “lower” lines, but we can’t win this game without Roy, Vanek etc.

Third goal goes to…GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE.  

HHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNKKKKK!!  Umm, again, how do you expect to win when our “role” players are the only ones scoring? 

Private to the dudes driving a Gray Charger with VT plates down I80 in NJ,

Sorry to scare the shit out of you.  I was honking cause Goose scored and not because there was something wrong with your car.  I guess honking for the Goose is only logical in Buffalo.  Who’d a thunk.

Chaz

Does anyone have a picture of FrankenGoose?  I’m really hoping the lacerated chin doesn’t look that bad. 

Any suggestions on what I should use a ring tone?  There’s so many to choose from and it’s driving me crazy.

I feel the need to address some of the search terms that have led people to my blog in the last week.

To the 6 people looking to “Contact Jason Pominville,”

I hear sending items to:29 Squeeky Toy Way, Buffalo, NY will work.  I’ve also heard sending some beggin’ strips to grease the skids will help get a response. 

Chaz

To the 2 people who searched “Sexy Sabres,”

I agree.

Chaz

To the person who searched for “Buffalo Sabres Suck,”

You must be a Rangers fan or maybe a Sens fan.  Right now I agree, but I don’t always feel this way. 

Let’s go BUFF-A-LO!

Chaz

To the person who searched “Scott Hannans real name,”

Like all of us, Scott does have a real name.

Chaz

To the person who searched “Peters Sabres,”

Being males, they all have “peters.”  Searching naked sabres probably would have given you a better result.  Oh, wait, were you looking for Andrew Peters?  Nah, who’d search that….

Chaz

To the person who searched ” What is Patrick Kaletas nephews name,”

Uhhhh, I didn’t know he had a nephew, but I have two adorable ones!

Chaz

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Tomorrow is a holiday for those of us in the Ol’ US of A.  It also launches the official, “holy shit!  I only have 4 weeks until Christmas meltdown” for me.  In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would love to wish all my American readers a wonderful Turkey or Tofurky day.  To all the Canucks, I’m happy belated Thanksgiving. 

I set out this morning to rack my brain for things I’m grateful for and found the list came much easier then expected. 

I’m thankful for-

My Family.  They are what they are and I love them for it.  Without my parents, I’d be paying rent out my nose instead of living rent free while I try and buy a house.  They get on my nerves sometimes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  They’ve made me realize that the time we have with our loved ones is precious.  You never know if this will be your last holiday with your family, so always treat it like it is.  It’s no life to spend the rest of your life regretting things you did or didn’t say before someone passed.  Let those around you know what they mean to you.  I enjoy my nephews more than I can put into words. 

My friends.  I’ve been a craptacular friend over the last few weeks and yet you still seem to call and e-mail.  I promise I’ll remove my head from my ass.  You’re all appreciated more than you know, and you put up with my stories of “the boys” even if you don’t really care.

Hockey.  It’s SO much fun to watch live and barring a few cities has the nicest fans.

Pommerdoode.  Interviews with Pommerdoodle are always refreshing.  It’s obvious he’s drunk on Sabres blue Kool-Aid and I’m OK with it.  He truly believes the system will fix everything when we fans feel it won’t.  Your attitude, Pommerdoodle, keeps me enjoying Sabres hockey.

Goose.  Our environment remains beautiful because of the efforts from the non-crazy tree huggers like you.  I’ve lowered my thermostat, recycled and re-purposed products just because you asked me too.  Who really cares that I’m freezing my ass off and the blankets made out of old clothes are cutting it.  We still have trees and lakes.

Crunchy.  Not so much for your on-ice play as of late, but for just being you.  In many ways I think Goose has rubbed off on you.  I know you price your jeans outrageously expensive, not because they are but because you want people to think twice before they throw them away.

“Well, they did cost $300.  I guess I can wear them a few more times, then cut them up and sew them back together in the form of a baby blanket.”

Your love of twigs and berries is going to slowly put the farmers out of business.  There will be no need to cut down trees or put pesticides on the land or in the water.  Wegmans will be a large forest surrounded by an organic fence made from recycled old Wegmans stores.  We’ll pick our own berries and twigs and pay by the pound on the way out.

D-Roy.  You are the antithesis of Goose and Crunchy, and yet they still seem to love you.  So, I feel compelled to follow suit.  Score a couple more goals and I won’t have to rely on the opinions of Goose and Crunchy.

Jaro.  There is nothing that makes me smile more than an interview with Jaro.  It makes a bad game good.  It’ll take my 5 minutes to try and translate what he said and then I realize it was “Fuck the system, we sucked tonight.”  It’s funny and refreshing all at the same time.

Andro Peters, Timmy Ho and Max.  Without you, I would have very little “low hanging fruit” to rail on.  When I’m pissed at the whole team, you’re my first target regardless of if you played in the game.

Thomas Vanek.  I’m sorry I called you a slag-faced whore.  You were one, but seem to have reformed.  Be careful, it’s a slippery slope right back to slag-faced whore, but this week I’m convinced you will overcome.

C Riv.  I’m glad you appear to have warmed to Buffalo, because Buffalo fans sure have warmed to you.  If you hate it here, please be honest, we can take honesty.  We can’t handle another Drury or Briere.  Just don’t lie to us.

Pattie LaLime.  After watching your interviews, who isn’t enamored with you?  Plus, I think you’ll allow Crunchy a few nights off.  It’s hard for him to forage for all is food, so a little extra time is always appreciated.  Hey, maybe you could help him?  Being a FC lumberjack like you are, I’m sure you have a few pointers on new leaves and moss he could add to his diet.

My blog.  I totally fucked up my 100th post and no one seemed to mind.

I hope everyone has a fun, safe and stuffed holiday.  Only 4 more weeks until the next holiday.

Has this ever happened to you?

I came into my blog today to write a new post, only to find, I’m a complete dumbass.  See, I wrote a post  and in the heat of “shit, I need to get this published ’cause I’ve got things to do” accidentally saved it instead of posting it.  To those of you who were worried I may have keeled over, fret not, it was only my brain that keeled over.  The rest of me is sitting here at work searching for the hardest surface in which to bang my head.

Onto today’s random thoughts -

It’s an “I love Crunchy” day.  First, I saw this picture.  Like most women in child baring age, there is something about a guy that looks comfortable with kids and vice versa.  It’s some sub-conscious way of sending our ovaries into overdrive.  It sent me straight from Crunchy’s gay to Crunchy could father my children in about 2.6 seconds. 

Should I really even bother to keep up the Timmy Tracker?  I have some serious hopes doubts that he never plays another game in a Sabres jersey.  If you can’t bare to part with him, then make his sell beer in the arena.  The women will LOVE it.

Now onto Sunday’s post which is a little redundant now, but what the hell.  Heather also talked about a lot of this stuff, and I tend to agree with her, so you can read it here.

I realized a few things this weekend -

First, bringing up Mark Mancari might not have been a bad idea.  Is there anyone else in Maine who might be ready for the jump? (Please, oh, please!)

Second, remember when I said we needed to dump some of our dead weight?  Well the offer doesn’t still stand, but I still think we need to get rid of a few of our “low hanging fruit.” 

I know you’re dying to know my opinion, so here it is -

You can shift Timmy to arena payroll by dropping 4 zeros off his game day salary, free beer and free women.  Come on, you know it’ll work.   (And I’m not saying this because he’s from Baldwinsville and I hate him.)

You can shift Andro Peters to arena payroll by dropping 3 zeros off his game day salary, free beer and free women.  (Oh, that’s right…you’re happily married now.)  Come on, you know it’ll work.

You need to suck it up when it comes to Max.  You aren’t always going to get what you want.  Shit happens sometimes, so take a low draft pick or put him on waivers.  Wake the rest of the team up with a “this could be you” moment. 

I don’t think you should trade DRoy.  I do think he needs a hard core benching.  He will probably enjoy riding the pine…ahem, moving on….

I think Pommer should be made the temporary Captain until C Riv gets his mojo back.  I think he’s shown himself as obedient to the system and is being rewarded accordingly. 

I think Crunchy needs to be sent to a therapist.  He sucked last year after his cousin passed which is completely understandable.  I’m not sure what happened this year.  Did he find a stray pair of last year’s jeans in his closet?  A shirt?  Get dumped?  Either way, a good shrink and some good organic trail mix should have Crunchy back to new.

Please don’t touch Mancari and Goose. 

The rest are open for debate.